Henna Hands & Minced Lamb: Our Kashmiri Wedding Experience

Salaam Aleikum! Peace Be Upon You! 

 That's the greeting you will hear in Kashmir, India. 

Dianne & Saira, the Kashmiri Bride (June 2012) 

We first experienced the hospitality of the Wangnoo Houseboats in 1985 (see Post #5) when we stayed on the "Nageen Princess" with our sons, then ages 7 and 12.  

This past summer we were invited back by the owner, Mohammed Wangnoo, to attend his daughter Saira's wedding. (June 2012)

A Moslem Indian wedding in Kashmir! How exciting for Americans to experience this and what an honor to be invited! We decided to attend this unique cultural event and we weren't disappointed! We flew from San Diego to Amsterdam, on to New Delhi, and then via Spice Airways to Srinagar in Kashmir, northern India. 

Mohammed  met us at the airport with flowers and took us to his enchanting houseboats on Nagin (Nageen) Lake, which is tranquil and beautiful, with views of the Himalayan foothills. It had been nearly 30 years, but the greeting we got was warm & friendly. 

Our host, Mohammed, greeted us with flowers

Dianne with Abdullah Wangnoo in 1985

Fin & Dianne with Abdullah, 27 years later

Nageen Lake, Himalayan foothills

our hand-carved cedar houseboat

 Rose petals were strewn on our dining table and bouquets of flowers welcomed us. 

The Nageen Paradise, one of 4 boats (http://www.kashmirboats.com)

verandah of the Nageen Paradise- a 5 bedroom floating hotel 

Our floating accommodation was very lovely: all hand carved cedar decor, with old style furniture, Kashmiri handicrafts and wall hangings, and beautiful hand-embroidered curtains and bed coverings. Our houseboat attendant, Rahul from Nepal, was very attentive. He served us coffee, tea, dinners, and lunches, when we weren't attending wedding feasts! We were delighted to meet up with the Wangnoo family again. We met Mohammed's brothers, Gulam, Ramzan and Abdullah, their wives, children and grand children. 

Fin with Mohammed, our host

The Wangnoo family were so hospitable to us, encouraging us to take part in every aspect of their daughter's wedding, which was a traditional Kashmiri three day affair with many feasts, singing, dancing, and a beautiful bride. In addition, Mohammed took us touring to the bazaars of Srinagar, to the Jamid Masjid mosque, and an extended day trip to Sonamarg, in the Himalayan mountains. 

Mohammed also arranged for us to take a shikara (Kashmiri gondola) ride across Nageen Lake, into Dal Lake, to the Mogul Gardens. The scenery along the route was idyllic and the Mogul Gardens are well kept and quite beautiful. Here are a few photos of aspects of the wedding and Kashmir which we enjoyed.

Dianne getting henna design on both hands (front and back) 

Henna Hand Designs 

The first day of festivities was reserved for the women. All the ladies and even the young girls got their hands decorated with henna designs. Bridal henna is one of the oldest and most widespread Indian traditions. The wedding we attended was Moslem, but henna is applied the same way by Hindus.  Two henna artists were hired to apply the henna designs, which go on dark but dry to brown or orange on the skin, The designs last about 2 weeks. I loved my henna hands! 

getting my henna design

Here's my hand and Abdullah's daughter's hands. My henna became brown, hers orange. 

Saira , before the wedding.
Eventually she got henna arms, hands and feet!

Abdullah's wife, Halima, shows off her henna hands.

Wazwan: The Kashmiri Wedding Feast

During the course of the 3 day wedding we had  special wedding feasts for lunch and dinner. Upwards of 800 guests were served at these feasts, called wazwan.

Wazwan feasts are cooked by caterers in an outdoor area. Food is cooked over wood fires in ghee. It is spiced but wasn't "hot spicy". We had many varieties of lamb served on rice. Chicken and a Kashmiri vegetable called hakh, (which is like spinach) are also served. This multi-course feast had up to 10 courses.   We ate this wazwan meal 8 times! It was delicious and filling.

Cooking over coals in the outside kitchen 

spices used in cooking the wazwan feast

cumin

cinnammom and cardamon 

mincing lamb in the outdoor kitchen for lamb kabobs,
 meatballs, and other delicacies

MUSIC & DANCE  One aspect of the wedding we enjoyed was the singing and dancing that took place. Ladies of the bride's family sang to her throughout the wedding. They would begin singing in a call and response manner. One group would call and the rest would respond. They would "sing down" the bride, calling her to leave her family home to get prepared for her new life. On the first day of the wedding, ladies called Saira down so that they could braid her hair into many plaits. They added gold strands to her hair.  This act of community was warm, embracing the departing bride with family love. The songs made her cry because they referred to her leaving her home and going to live with her husband and a new family. Since this was an arranged marriage, Saira was going to go into a strange environment and leaving her home of 25 years, a somewhat frightening proposition. The care and love her family and friends showed during the three days of feting her, made it both easier and harder to set out on this new adventure.

Loving hands comb and plait Saira's hair.

Saira, her hair plaited and entwined with gold,  surrounded by cousins.

On the second night of the wedding the groom's female family members came to the wedding tent. They brought henna and a wedding cake. New sisters, cousins, and relatives welcomed Saira into their family.

a single finger tip was dyed as a ceremonial gesture of welcome

Wedding Cake for Waseem & Saira

New sisters for Saira

shoes left on the carpet as the guests entered the tent

Another delightful Kashmiri wedding tradition is bringing light to the bride. Guests carried plates filled with candles and danced and sang as they deposited these symbols of  a new bright life in front of her. The bride always sat on a special podium and did not participate in the singing or dancing.

Carrying light to the bride. 

candles aglow bring light to the festivities

The night before the groom arrived, it was time for the bride to get her arms, hands, legs, and feet henna'd The designs were elaborate! It took most of the evening for the henna to dry. As the artist worked, a hired singer performed. No one but us seemed surprised that the singer was a transvestite! Dancing and singing continued on into the wee hours, getting more and more frenetic until finally the bride and everyone around her were weeping....she with worry at leaving her family and they at losing her.

Saira's henna'd shins, ankles, and feet

Saira waiting patiently for the henna designs to dry.

Sunday evening dress-more gold jewelry! 

Here are more photos of Saira in her different wedding outfits ( she had new ones each day and evening) and guests at the wedding.

Lovely blue dress with gold jewelry

Cousins of the bride & her Uncle Nazir were a big help serving food .We called them the "Kashmiri Mafia" because of their cool sunglasses. 

This cute young man looked like a little Raja!

The little girls in the family loved dressing up and spending time with the bride. 

Dianne with Saira's aunt Halima (in gold) and mother Raja (floral) 

All the members of Gulam's family attended. Here I am with Gulam, his wife  Misra,
 son Zahoor and wife Mehjbeem, and other family members. 

Gulam, the elder, and Fin got along well. They are only 6 months apart in age!

relatives wore beautiful outfits in every color of the rainbow

The WEDDING DRESS! On Monday evening, the groom came to take home his bride.
 Saira had on a fantastically embroidered and beaded dress for this final event.
 She looked radiant and sparkled with gold jewelry: hairpieces, necklaces, bangles and rings. She held a bejeweled designer purse on her lap as she sat on her "throne" in the women's tent.

close up of the lovely embroidery & beadwork on Saira's wedding dress. 

At last the groom arrived! He entered in a flurry of rose petals! Beside him walked the elder, Gulam, and the wedding "fixer", a cousin who had arranged the marriage. As he walked down the sidewalk, children threw rose petals down on him from the balcony above. He looked like Aladdin! He wore a turban with a feather, a fancy, green Maharajah coat, Persian shoes that curled up at the toes, and a big smile! A procession of groomsmen and relatives followed and they all went into the men's tent. Fin & I attended (as a Westerner it was deemed OK for me to attend the men's ceremony, although none of the Kashmiri ladies did). 

 Waseem the Groom arrives at last!
(The movie won't upload & this is the best I got!) 

After the Imam read the contract and Saira's 3 uncles signed it for her, it was time for one more feast. When dinner was over, the groom went to collect the bride from her tent. Saira cried and cried at leaving her parents and family, her shawl was draped over her head and she was lead out to the groom. They left side by side and got into a decorated car. Off they went for her first night with her new husband, accompanied by her older sister! 

Waseem, Mohammed , and Fin celebrate the day after the wedding.

The day after...Dianne is an honored guest and sits with the new bride and her new sister bride (recently married to Waseem's brother)on the podium. Happy smiles all around!

Two days later, the bride returned to her parents house for another wazwan feast. This time she sat with her husband and mother and looked genuinely happy.
 Their first anniversary is soon approaching!
Thank you for inviting us to your wedding, Saira and Waseem!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

Married 3 days...husband, wife, and new mother-in-law!